Week 21: My Physical Therapist Was Just Flat-Out Wrong, BTW

I am in a good mood regarding my leg these days. Yeah, I still have pain. But it is only at the one location (same as last week), it feels better than last week for sure, and no, I do not have a stress fracture. (Eh, 93% confident about that.) No pain at all going up stairs anymore.

In any case, guess what I did this week? On Monday to be precise. I RAN! Okay, I ran two ~40′ lengths at the gym. And more like “ran.” I definitely limp while I do it, but I did it! And in moderation so that I don’t wind up with even *more* pain.

Also, I am getting stronger, and all of my new exercises are becoming easy. Almost too easy. Need to think of new things to do, which is actually not the easiest thing in the world. But that is good. Leg press report: 47.5 kg on bad leg, 67.5 kg on good leg. Realizing that it’s probably going to take a year or so to get the bad leg up to speed with the good leg.

Which brings me to this week’s title. Honestly, I don’t know what my PT was thinking when he said 12-16 weeks to be walking without pain and without a limp. My friend who did the same thing, on November 1 many years in the past (I am November 10, Nov 11 for surgery), said that it took her until April to be able to walk without pain. Maybe he didn’t know that I had a compound fracture? Anyway, it has helped mentally to just throw that out the window.

Also, I got a nice psychological boost tonight when I talked to a trainer at my gym, and he was like, “you have a broken leg!?!?! That explains why you do weird exercises, but wow, I can’t believe how much you work on it and how dedicated you are!” I also told him about no cast, crutches for three weeks and he was like, “you are a very inspirational person,” which is a bit overboard — frankly, I’m more enamored with my surgeon than anyone else — but it was nice to hear. Even if he didn’t really understand the whole rod = load bearing from the get go.

I am definitely getting close to being able to climb, though I am waiting until I have no pain walking just because I’d hate to mess things up right now. I’m curious to see what it will be like when I get back to it. Clearly I’ll need to build some callouses and some grip strength, but I feel pretty strong, and my abs are sick. Provided I don’t let my weight go through the roof, I bet I’m okay. I’m climbing all over the gym equipment these days (with my favorite thing now being dynoing up to the pull up bar), and it feels like my technique is still there. Very curious how I will do on “balance”/slab problems, since my balance definitely isn’t the same on the bad side yet. It is STILL harder to put my pants on standing on my bad foot than my good foot.

Oh right, I bounced on a mini-tramp a few times this week, thinking that that might tell me what landing on a bouldering mat would feel like (indoors!), but it turned out that mostly it was just hard to jump, and it didn’t really simulate landing very well.

I felt like I also had some general life advice for other people in my situation, but I’m forgetting it. Maybe something about be prepared to feel like you are plateauing/have much slower progress as you get away from the initial break. IDK, if it was something more important, I’ll post it next week.

Weeks 18+19: Doing the Same Thing Over and Over and Expecting Different Results

Still walking with pain — more than before even, and still have a very very slight limp — less than before. Mostly. Ugh.

Talked to a climber-personal trainer friend (via text since we are on opposite sides of the globe) to ask why my pain/limp hasn’t gone away yet. He thought that four months was maybe a bit aggressive to be totally back to normal, but also was like, “unfortunately, sporadic pain is probably to be expected at this point.”

However, I’m not really having “sporadic” pain — more like all the time. 😦

I told him that I was doing my exercises almost every day, to which he replied, “are you doing the same exercises over and over?” Me: “yes, though I’m adding weight.” Him: “you need to switch things up!” He also recommended that I try to do what he called “dynamic” exercises. That is, exercises that operate in all three dimensions. Also, exercises that do strength and balance at the same time.

So I’m trying to do that, though it’s kind of hard to make up a lot of things. I have started doing a lot more lunches — holding a 10kg plate in front of me and twisting to the side as I do down on into the lunch. I do the same, though with a 5kg weight, on a bosu ball which is HARD. I’m also making up sequences involving lunges that involve moving weight across my body as I stand on one leg. And finally, I’ve returned to assisted pistol squats on my bad leg. (And non-assisted on the good side.)

In any case, I can feel that I’m getting WAY stronger from this, particularly in my quads, hamstrings, and glutes.

But the pain remains, and I think that one issue was that I thought that trying some jumping would help with strength, and all that it really did was damage muscles. Kind of mad at myself about this, but what can I do. I hate thought that as of late, I’ve been leaving the gym with more pain than I had going in.

I’m going away for four days, and will be able to do only minimal exercises while away. But will be walking a ton. I’m hoping that this actually helps with the pain — by not doing such strenuous exercises.

As for my days without any pain two weeks ago, in all seriousness, the lack of pain was directly proportional to my fever, which is just bizarre. But as my fever started to go down, the pain started to come back. I have no other explanation. Just weird.

Okay, that is it for this week. Lesson learned: no jumping — and if I start to feel better, don’t do things that are going to put too much more stress on the thing. Painful to feel like I’m hindering my own progress.

Week 16: Pain = No Gain

I’m sure you noticed (that’s a joke), but this post is a little late this week. Sure, I could blame a long weekend trip, but the reality is that I don’t want to talk about my slipping back into pain while walking. It is pretty disappointing, and frustrating, especially because I can’t really be sure why it happened. Though I suspect the elliptical. Seriously, I am just not going to get on that thing for a while. If ever. (Might go straight from spinning to very easy jogging.)

All I know is that it hurts to walk, and there are some exercises that I used to be able to do that I can’t anymore. Namely, bosu ball weighted lunges — with my bad foot in the back — and very assisted pistol squats on my bad leg. It’s something about coming forward over my ankle that is the problem. I nearly cried at the gym on Friday just out of frustration and disappointment.

Also, there now is some pain (very little, but perceptible) on the outside of my foot. As a means to try to get better, I’ve stopped standing up on the spin bike, I’ve stopped doing the leg press because I was doing that so heavy but also not making progress, and I’m not doing the exercises that are too painful to do.

The good news — I guess — is that on my weekend trip, I was able to walk around a somewhat treacherous city for walking for hours at a time, and it didn’t feel too bad. I walked up 272 rather steep steps (as pictured), which I am going to admit, was not the most fun. 1/3 because of pain, 1/3 because I was scared coming down that I was going to topple over because the stairs were so steep, and 1/3 because of the number of monkeys playing around on the stairs.

Other good news is that walking on my tiptoes is super easy and painless. More painless than normal walking. Also, the thing doesn’t feel so bad in the afternoon/late day, and I guess it’s not that bad getting up either. I’ve also stopped sleeping with my leg elevated because I just can’t anymore. Yes, I’ve been sleeping with my leg on two to three pillows for sixteen weeks.

Oh, and my callus is huge. And interestingly, this divet that I had next to my fracture site — when I ran my hand across it there was a pretty perceptible indentation — has filled in. Except for at that spot, the bruising is pretty much gone, and my incisions are becoming real scars. I have so many scars on my legs that I will wear them like a badge of honor. And exciting, I set off the airport metal detector! (But only on arrival, not on departure.)

Okay, hoping for a better week 17. Four month breakiversary is coming up. God, can this thing just be over with?

Week 9: The Two Month Blahs

For a long time, this felt like a week when nothing was changing. I didn’t feel like I was getting stronger, I didn’t feel like the pain was diminishing, and on top of that, I tripped three times and used my bad leg to catch my fall which…hurt. Not sure why I tripped so much this week.

Notable things:

• I walked 1.5 miles for the first time on Friday evening, and it was a slog, for sure. Took about 30 minutes.
• I have been going to the gym like a mad woman. Rode the spin by 4x in a row, followed by a day off, and then back on. Doing lots and lots of PT exercises as well.
• Did 20 squats holding a 20kg (44 lbs) kettle ball. Seems like this means I could move onto the bar soon? Going way below parallel.
• Walking almost normal pace when I hustle.
• Happened to find myself goofing around on a bouldering wall (don’t ask), campused up to a hold that put my feet about 4″ above the pad. Forgot that I couldn’t fall, and fell down onto the pad. It’s not like I couldn’t feel it, but I was totally fine, surprisingly.
• Part of my PT is one leg presses on the leg press machine. The differential between my two legs in terms of how much I can press is, uh, 100 lbs. Yikes!

Not sure what other notable things there were, but then, on Monday afternoon, suddenly I started walking with a lot less pain. I walked 1.5 miles again and felt fine. This morning I was back to ache-y, but then this afternoon it got better again. So that felt like some progress.

Also, this Sunday was my two month breakiversary. This made me 1. kind of check my expectations about recovery and 2. go back to my entry from my one month breakiversary and compare where I was.

First, I realized that initially I thought I was going to be in a cast for 6-8 weeks (initially, i.e. when I was laying on the mat with a floppy foot waiting for the paramedics to come). Sometimes I get frustrated that I’m not further along in recovery — particularly these days because the early recovery went so quickly and everyone was saying, “I can’t believe it’s been three weeks and you are off crutches,” etc. So the fact that going down stairs is still kind of hard, that balancing on my bad leg to put my pants/socks on in the morning is still hard, and the fact that I have very little lateral stability all make me feel like things aren’t progressing fast enough anymore. Like, as though I should be starting to run by now. Even though it’s been two months since my break.

But second, I did look back at my week 5 post, and realized how different things were that week from now. I remember how ridiculously slow that one mile walk to the grocery store was. Though it does still feel like progress is slowing down.

So: this week was kind of blah I guess. We shall see what next week brings, aside from flying half-way around the world.

Week 8: No More Dr. Limpy

Well, okay, I still have a bit of a limp. (Dr. Limpy was my “bowling name” over Christmas.)

I didn’t feel like I was making much progress this week until Friday-ish. Then all of a sudden my leg started feeling way stronger. I am really pleased with my progress this week, and I will take the psychological boost.

Things that happened this week:

• Danced on New Year’s Eve. Had to excuse myself from the Running Man, but I think I did a pretty good job.
• Started doing the leg press machine with just my bad leg.
• Doing these sideways walks (like a slo-mo shuffle) with a thick band around my feet. I just now did heel walks and this exercise in a row at PT and walked easily with no limp immediately afterwards.
• I CAN STAND ON ONE TOE! This has been a goal for a few weeks now. I still need to rest my hands on a surface for balance getting up, but once I’m up, I can let go and hold it. To quote my PT, “this is huge!”
• Ran (eh, walked) into another PT I know from climbing on the street, who was also like, “I can’t believe how much progress you’ve made!” How true this is or not doesn’t matter — getting positive feedback and staying positive is key!
• My walking form is getting much better. I can start to push off more with my toe on my bad leg. Limp is less noticeable.
• Balance stuff is still hard.
• Rode the spin bike for 40 minutes three days in a row.
• Walking faster — basically at the pace of a slow walker. Passing people who are texting/checking their phones and walking for sure.

Goals:

• Walk without a limp! I think I am getting close enough to this that I can put it down as a goal. Will probably take a few weeks, but so did going up on one toe.
• Walk without pain. Is this the same as above? Not sure, but probably?

General:

• Feeling happy with my progress again.
• Apparently I have to wait until my leg feels basically 100% until I can elliptical, which doesn’t really work with my moving halfway around the world and joining a gym that probably doesn’t have a spin bike that I can use. Well, we shall see.
• Doctor’s appointment next week. Fingers crossed that everything is coming together okay.
• Also, wow. I just went back to the broken tib/fib and IM nail blog that I read while in the hospital that inspired me to start this. Written by someone who also broke her leg in a climbing fall. Her week 9 entry — so, one week beyond this — discusses how, after many attempts, she is finally down to one crutch. Shout out to my surgeon for the great job he did (and for being of the weight-bearing = good, cast = bad philosophy), my PT for helping me get where I am, my friends for all the moral support, and you know, me for maintaining a good attitude and doing all of my exercises. 🙂 I am always really happy with my progress, but reading that ramped my feelings about it back up to thrilled.

Week 5: Lots of Steps

Things I’m learning: you never know what kind of progress will come next, or when it will come.

The biggest development this week was that on Saturday, the pain that I had always had while walking finally went away! It had been getting better, and then just…poof! This is not to say that I’m walking normally. I’m still slow and I still have a limp, just that it now doesn’t feel like I’m only going to be able to go X far before it hurts too much to continue. I am really happy about this! Lesson learned: if you complain about something the week before, it will probably get resolved the next week.

Other things that happened this week:

Walked just over a mile (in total) to go grocery shopping on Thursday. Wasn’t sure if I was going to make it, but I just decided that I would. And then did. This was the furthest I’ve walked without crutches — and without a break, no pun intended — yet.

Starting to pass very very slow people in the very long hallway at my school. By the end of this week, I think I’ve moved up to walking at about 75% of a normal person’s pace.

Able to sit crosslegged.

I itched my fracture site a lot! Apparently this is normal.

Wore my compression sock all during the day when I wasn’t icing. Really makes things feel better.

Physical therapy:

Moved on to longer sets of more advanced exercises. The following are currently in my daily routine: standing lunges, one leg balancing, body weight squats, heel walking, heel raises (up onto toes), and 6 minutes of calf stretching 3x/day. It’s kind of a pain/annoying, and I can totally see how a lot of people would slack on everything that is prescribed. But you know what is more annoying? Not recovering.

My PT was impressed that I walked a mile four weeks out, and that I could balance only on my bad leg for a full two minutes. I was impressed with the latter myself — reaping the benefits of all my core work?

He did ask me to try to stand up on my toes only on my bad side, and I couldn’t even get my heel off the floor. It’s really bizarre to just not be able to do something like this.

Goals:

Three things that are currently in my head as milestones:

1. being able to walk down stairs alternating feet

2. being able to put my good leg into my pants/shorts/underwear while balancing on my bad foot

3. being able to rise up on my toes on just my left foot

This morning I decided that I am going to do the alternating feet thing going down stairs, with a lot of help from a handrail. Clearly it is a matter of ankle mobility/stability, but I think that trying will help. Hopeful about the toe/heel raise, and i keep trying everyday. With that, it’s a matter of muscle strength — underneath my knee toward the inside and the area above my ankle on the outside of my leg seem to be the problem spots.

Psychological, etc.

Getting more used to going to the gym to do weights. Had to stop doing dips however because of my shoulder injury. Doing a fair amount of work on my good leg (assisted one legged squats, leg press), which I think is back to normal size. Atrophy on the bad side seems to have abated as well. Tried to ride the spin bike, but I decided it was a waste of time. I wasn’t going to get an aerobic workout nor burn very many calories given the speed and resistance I was able to tolerate. Someone asked me about riding a bike on the street and I was like, are you kidding me? I’m so far off from that.

Re-asked my PT again about 12-16 weeks for getting back to real exercise (running, climbing), and he confirmed that that is what he said. 12 weeks is the end of January. Climbing will come first apparently, which is great.

Annoyed by people who think that I wasn’t being safe while climbing and that is why I broke my leg, or who claim that the padding at my gym is inadequate, or who quasi-lecture me about how people shouldn’t boulder because it is too dangerous. Still feeling like breaking my leg doesn’t outweigh how much I enjoy it. At no time have I even thought, if only I had decided to only top rope since there is so little risk in that. Or: if only my recreational activity was sitting on the couch watching Netflix. Life is risky, and yes, climbing is riskier than not-climbing, but, I’m happy to pay the price. Saw a friend with a finger injury this weekend, and it’s funny how my broken leg might heal faster than his finger. Basically, I’m starting to understand this thing as just another sports injury, and really not that big of a deal. Then I think about the fact that someone hammered a rod into the middle of my bone, ha.

Missing climbing a bit but I’m still fairly occupied with both leg stuff and work stuff that I’m not feeling like there is a huge void in my life, plus my rings and abs workouts now are still social. If 16 weeks is correct, I’m more than 1/4 of the way there. My PT thought that I would still have trouble walking when I leave in January (around 9.5 weeks out). I am determined to prove him wrong! 🙂

Pictures:
Weekly pics of my legs. My ankle is in full view (swelling is down), and the muscle on my left side is building back up. In the picture on the right, you can see the lump at my fracture site. I am not sure if this is the “callus” formation or swelling or both.

 

Below you can see the swelling on my bad knee (right picture), compared to my good knee (left picture).

 

 

Week 4: And Then There Were None

In the same way that it’s easy to blast through low grades in climbing and then start to take more time to advance, my progress this week was not as dramatic as in past weeks, but I’m still working hard to recover, and each day is better than the day before.

Milestones:

Day 22

It seems like exciting things happen on Tuesdays. First I broke my leg on a Tuesday (exciting is maybe not the right word), then I got rid of my boot after the first week, then I went down to one crutch after the second week, and this week, Tuesday was my first day going entirely crutch free. I haven’t used one since. Exciting! What will come next?

I also wore jeans this day, instead of tights or leggings, and stood up in the shower, both for the first time.

Other notes:

Went to my first PT appointment. Some good news is that my range of motion in my knee and ankle is basically the same as on my good side. The other good news is that the PT guy estimated 12-16 weeks until I could run and boulder again. What?!?! That is so contrary to other people’s experiences I’ve seen on the internet, as well as that of my doctor who said 9-12 months for running, that I’m not even sure I understood correctly, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he said. The bad news is that after years of running, my soleus muscle (deep in the calf) is super tight, even on the good side. Yes, that is the bad news. I’ll take it!

Apparently much of the pain I feel while walking is due to swelling at both the knee and the ankle. As a result, I now own an over the knee compression sock (black, not tan/flesh color, thank god) and a 12″ x 18.5″ ice pack so that I can ice my ankle and knee and the fracture site all at the same time. I am really hoping these things help, because I’m not going to lie — walking hurts and kind of sucks. Got some exercises to due daily — heel raises, wall squats, and calf stretches. Heel raises and wall squats are kind of fun (1×15 daily), but the stretches (6 minutes worth 3x daily) are kind of annoying…but I am doing them!

Also:

• Tried to stop taking Tylenol for pain, since I only have pain while walking, but decided to go back on to deal with the pain while walking.
• Can balance a fair amount on just my bad leg. At the beginning of the week I stood in the shower,  at the end I stood on my bad leg with my other foot up on the top of the tub to shave my leg! And didn’t even notice that I was doing it.
• Going up stairs feels great — better than even walking on a flat surface — but I still can’t go down stairs without matching feet. I think going down stairs is going to take a long time.
• At the beginning of the week, I also tried to go up on my tiptoe just on my bad leg while holding onto a railing, and it was SO HARD. By which I mean, I wasn’t even close. Just before typing this, I was actually able to do it a little bit.
• Also, I have successfully taken a few tiny jumps, getting both feet off the ground! If I land on my toes, it’s no problem.
• My legs are definitely smaller than they used to be — particularly my bad one — which I know from getting back in jeans. Climbing friends encouraged me to keep it that way since I have the opposite of skinny climbing legs.
• Even though it hurts, walking has certainly improved over the beginning of the week — I’m probably 75% faster by the end of it? And if need be, I can go at normal pace, I just have a huge limp.

Psychological:

Getting off crutches was an amazing psychological boost! Since then, it has felt like progress has been slow, mostly because there won’t be any milestones as big as getting off crutches for a while. But in writing this out, I realize how much progress I actually have made over the course of the week. Which is also a nice boost.

Everywhere on the internet, the advice that I’ve seen is to maintain a positive mental attitude, do physical therapy like it is your job, and push yourself to keep trying new things. I’m doing pretty well at this, though the pain while walking is getting to me a bit. Ready for that to go away, and to be able to walk further.

I am still a bit incredulous about my PT’s suggestion that I could be back to bouldering 16 weeks post-fall. I mean, I’ll take it if it happens, but really, I decided that I *must* be back to it by May 16, 2016, when I get back to the States, which is 27 weeks. Definitely going to pack my shoes and a chalk bag when I go away, just in case.

A more short term goal is to be able to bowl in my family’s annual Christmas bowling excursion. And I really want to go top rope one time in January before I leave the country. Also, I’m interested to see how strong I’ve stayed/gotten through all of this lifting, abs, and pullups I’ve been doing — and whether my shoulder injury will actually get better before my leg — or not!

 

Week 3: And Then There Was One (Crutch)

Everytime I think I have reached a short plateau in my recovery, something new happens. It is really amazing.

Highlights of the week:

Day 15

I went to see my doctor for the first time, exactly two weeks after my fall. They took some new Xrays, which showed that my tibia is aligning perfectly. My fibula, which was a segmented break (two places), is not quite so perfect, but my doctor was unconcerned about that for the time being. Also took my stitches and staples out.

Most importantly, I got to ask questions about what I would be able to do with the rod in. The answer was everything, and that only in rare occasions do they take them out, despite everyone on the internet wanting them out. I think I was a little too afraid to ask about bouldering specifically, because I didn’t want to hear that it would be a year before I was able to fall on my leg again. (Somehow I think everyone thinks that I fell accidentally onto a hard surface while roped in, and doesn’t even know what bouldering is.) But it is clear that bouldering is in the cards at some point. I asked about taking another similar fall and he was like, “well, your leg will just be that much stronger with the rod in.” Lesson learned: don’t believe the internet.

I asked about running directly, and he said that most people take 9-12 months. That’s obviously a long time to wait for someone who had run consistently for 15 years, I am hoping that I will be on the short side of this, since I am in such good shape? I honestly think that I will be able to top rope in January — basically once I feel like I can put my full body weight on my leg. (Unfortunately I will be out of the country from Jan 15 – May 15, and my only option where I am going is bouldering.)

My doctor also asked me if I had walked at all without crutches, to which I replied yes — a little. He asked me to show him, and then muttered that I was still doing something or other, but suggested that I go down to one crutch. I was hesitant, because sometimes I need to go all the way across campus, and I’d be so slow on just one crutch. I also wasn’t so sure about stairs.

Finally, I got a prescription for physical therapy, which I will start this coming week.

Day 16

Well, so much for my initial one crutch fear. In the middle of the day, I needed to run an errand that was about 0.3 miles away, and I decided…let’s do this on one crutch. And I did. Having a free hand to carry things was amazing, and I never went back to two. I also decided to start using no crutches in controlled situations, like inside my apartment for example. This was also the day when the feeling that something was stabbing me at the top of my ankle as a walked went away.

Day 18

Decided to walk 0.3 miles (each way) to get coffee, without any crutches. Coffee place was closed (!), but I did it! (very, very slowly) I tried stairs too which weren’t bad at all. Also, I was able to go up a stair or two without matching feet — holding onto a handrail. Very slowly rode a stationary bike at the gym — just to see if I could.https://instagram.com/p/-m8WEfvM0x13u82p4laTy6Rgz-Sy4ljZNSr-M0/

 

Day 19

Took a shower standing up for the first time. Discovered that I can do bodyweight squats — though probably unevenly weighted. Did a very long flight of stairs without matching feet and without crutches — going up only.

Day 20

Did 30 minutes of water running and 15 minutes of kickboarding in the pool. (Am also doing upper body/ab workouts). This was the first time that my leg muscles were really engaged in anyway. Left leg is really starting to atrophy, and I still can’t really fully lock my knee, which I believe is due to the fact that they cut into your patellar tendon in order to insert the rod. I hate the pool but I can tell that this is a great way to strengthen my ankle muscles, and I seem to hate water running and kickboarding less than actual swimming.

Other notes: 

1. A friend of mine got in touch about her own tib/fib break, which was much worse than mine, and the progress of her recovery. Here is what she wrote:

I broke my tib and fib VERY BADLY on Nov 1st, 2010. I had ORIF with 11 screws, 2 plates, 2 hooks, and wire in. It just looked bad. I almost threw up when they removed the cast after 2 weeks and put me in the boot. I cried. Then I got really strong arms from crutches. The winter sucked, but I made new friends who gave me rides and helped me shovel a path to the bus stop.

I went to the pool as soon as the wound healed, one month after surgery. I swam a lot. I put my foot down on Jan 1st. I was bike riding by late January. I could not walk until I completed therapy in March. But I was doing a lot of pilates. I was walking in April. Walking with no pain at all in June. Hiking in July in the mountains and jumping.  Little running in August and a lot of walking. Completely running in September. Removing all the screws and plates and metal stuff in late September.

2. I don’t really understand why so many people have had the same IM nail surgery but were told to keep all weight off of it for an initial period. I mean, I surmise that there have been recent studies that have showed that WBAT is useful in healing, but I feel terribly for people who had to go through that.

3. I feel very lucky to be able to keep my foot relatively elevated — and most significantly, to be able to ice it throughout that day. I think that icing is REALLY helping.

4. I’ve really been trying to do as much crutch free walking as possible, but the transition away from one crutch is not going to happen this week. I can tell that the muscles in my legs are just not strong enough yet for me to properly pronate. Additionally, and probably relatedly, my balance is terrible. All of this makes it hurt at the fracture site when I walk entirely crutchless. On the other hand, I am using the one crutch very lightly, as much supporting me in the horizontal dimension as vertical.

Here are some pictures of my healing yet weakening leg(s). I know that the atrophy isn’t that pronounced, but if you let your eyes go a bit blurry, you can definitely see it. Random question that I’m interested in is will my toe bumps from my climbing shoes, which you can kind of see in the second picture, go away with my break from climbing, or are they permanent?

Also, here is a pic of my knee range of motion. This is actually very similar to that of my right (good) leg, but it is definitely stiffer.

Psychological:

My doctor’s appointment and going down to one crutch were pretty exciting and motivating, and at the beginning of the week, I felt like I was crushing everything. Now that it’s the end of the week, I’m feeling like my life is more or less back to normal — though a new, slower normal. This is good in some ways, but also makes me less super motivated to go to the gym, watch what I eat since I’m not burning nearly as many calories, etc. I am doing those things, I just don’t get the same dopamine rush out of them that I did when I was like, I can’t believe this is happening! I’m also able to focus more on my work, particularly after my doctor’s visit, which is good.

I took some friends who had never climbed indoor bouldering at my gym on Saturday, since it was free for first-timers, and they loved it. The whole experience — hanging out and helping, and just seeing them get into it — really made me happy, and thinking about it does motivate me to try to return to bouldering by the time I get back to the States on May 15.

Looking ahead, I am excited to start physical therapy, and I am really hoping to be able to go crutch free within the next week. Of course there is nothing more that I can really do to achieve this goal, but I’m hoping anyway.

Week 2, Pt 2: Psychological Recovery & Research

Psychologically I’m doing pretty well, and I am trying to maintain as positive of an attitude as possible. I am super motivated to crush recovery  and stay in shape, and am treating this like any other kind of physical challenge that I’ve undertaken. I’m also feeling grateful that it’s just a broken leg, no joints involved, I can still do everything with my arms/hands, not to mention it not being anything worse, etc.

Particularly at the beginning of the week, my emotions were pretty volatile. I was really thrilled about how quickly I got rid of the boot, and how quickly I could take steps on my own, and then I would have moments of very quickly getting very sad and shedding some tears. Or even shedding tears at happy moments, like when I walked. This has subsided to some extent, and I’m happy to say that there are now moments when I even forget that my leg is in the state it’s in (and then I stand up), and that generally my life is starting to feel normal again, even if it is a new normal.

On Sunday I worked out at the regular gym with another injured climber, which made the prospect of a lot of weight/bodyweight workouts in the future seem much more bearable. I no longer know how people work out on their own.

However, this week I got a bit obsessed with the question:

Will I be able to boulder again with the rod in?

This led me to do a lot of internet research, despite knowing that I should stay off the internet.

The answer to this question of course is: wait to ask my doctor at my two week appointment. But come on, who can wait for those things? So, I will summarize what I’ve found.

First, this was a freak fall, but uh…not. I can’t help but think of this part of the first-timer’s tour at my climbing gym, which I’ve heard over and over, during which the employee says, “climbing is an inherently dangerous sport.” Indeed, it is. There are definitely a number of people posting about tib/fib breaks from bouldering on the internet.

One of the first things I found while still in the hospital was this Rock and Ice Q&A article, which calls the IM nail an “in situ spear,” having the potential to jab into your knee or ankle should you take another bad fall. The article thus essentially recommends not bouldering on it until you get it removed. Sad face, because it seems like removal can happen, at the earliest, around 12 – 18 months.

I also found a number of other forum posts and what not about having the rod and screws in, what can be done on them, and whether to get the hardware out from climbers, skiers, more skiers, and runners. But let’s face it, people who aren’t having problems with their rods aren’t posting about it on the internet.

On the other hand, the person who asked the Rock and Ice question continued to boulder on his rodded leg without incident, though he got his screws out and continues to want to get the nail out. He is even now motorbike racing, which puts him at even higher risk for an injury than climbing, and is okay with it. Hat tip to Peter who took the time to give me a detailed account of his recovery process when I wrote to him to ask questions.

Also, when I ran into the PT climber I know, who was very familiar with the surgery, that I can weight-bear, etc., he seemed confident that I would be able to boulder again, and mentioned a formerly close to professional climber friend of his who also did a tib/fib break and got a rod, who boulders all the time with it in.

So, who knows. I came to grips with the idea of not being able to boulder for something like two years early in the week, and then heard the very convincing better news from the PT friend later in the week, all of which adds up to a “let’s wait and see” state of mind for me right now.

If you are interested in understanding what happens during an IM nail surgery, here is an animated and not particularly graphic video.

If you are interested in hearing exactly what I sounded like when I fell, and what my floppy foot looked like (Solution and all), here is a pretty disturbing video of Peter’s fall.

Something that I’d also like to know is how quickly I will be able to walk unassisted again. Strangely, there are very few accounts out there of people who have immediate weight bearing status after their surgeries. I found one set of videos on Youtube, but that was about it. So, hopefully my account of this will be useful to someone.

Week 1, Pt 3: At Home

I have to admit that I was petrified to go home, because I just hadn’t felt very stable on crutches at the hospital. But, my first few days at home have been so much better than I expected, with each day getting easier and easier, just like they said it would. I was only even temporarily sad unpacking my climbing stuff.

My pain is basically gone, with the exception of the incision sites, where my skin just feels tight, understandably. I am getting better and better at crutching, and more significantly, I am able to put more and more weight on my bad leg. If I stand up straight with my feet parallel, I can almost get 50% of my weight on it. This morning (6.5 days after my fall) I tried to walk with only one crutch, and I could, albeit not particularly well.

Here is a picture of my leg from the first day I got home. I have eleven staples and seven stitches. These couldn’t get wet for a bit, but this morning I was allowed to take a shower. Yay. I am using gauze pads as cushions on my wounds, a giant tube sock they gave me in the hospital, and my Aircast boot to walk. Last night and this morning I started to crutch around my apartment with my bare foot , though putting very little weight on it. Basically I just didn’t feel like putting on the boot to go to the bathroom. This was okayed by the doctors in the hospital.

My mood is great, in part because I am so thankful to everyone who has been so supportive of and helpful to me in this ordeal, and in part because I’m so pleased with how this is becoming just a kind of pain the butt (or…leg), more than the life changing catastrophe it first felt like it could be when I was lying on the mat.

Now I have some tips for you! Here is what I learned in week 1:

Tip #1: Particularly if you are an athlete who loves being active and challenging yourself, do everything you can to get back to your normal routine. Get out of bed. Make your bed. Make yourself breakfast. Put on regular clothes rather than sitting in your pajamas. Leave the house. Run local errands if you can. Set yourself a goal of walking around the block. Be social! These things have been critical for me in maintaining a positive attitude and the motivation to get through this.

Tip #2: Get a tote bag to hang from the handle of your crutches. You will quickly learn that you can’t carry anything around any more. Use the tote bag for this. Use water bottles and coffee thermoses for liquids. Use tupperware to move food.

Tip #3: When being social, remember that drinking alcohol and crutching might not be a great combination at first. 🙂

Tip #4: Ladies, if it’s not summer, consider investing in some leggings. I found that my regular tights are too constricting right now for my swollen leg. Dudes…I don’t know, maybe sweatpants? You’ll definitely need something that works with your boot if you’re getting one.

Tip #5: Make yourself a new exercise routine, and look for opportunities to turn something in your daily routine into exercise. I’ve been continuing a lot of my old ab routine, doing dips in the morning between the kitchen counter and island, leg lifts in my boot, working on my single leg balance as I brush my teeth. If you miss climbing, have fun with trying to reach far for things while balancing. (Be safe of course.) Crimp on door moulding to pull the door shut.

Tip #6: Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. People are awesome, and actually happy to help you.

Tip #7: Duh, but don’t obsess over other people’s stories on the internet, including mine. Everyone’s breaks are different, as are everyone’s recoveries. Not that I know this from experience, but I’ve kind of scoured the web at this point and have found people who are back to outdoor bouldering or playing college basketball in months and people who still aren’t fully healed after two years and are not interested in climbing again. So, no real point in thinking that what happens to one person will happen to you too.