Weeks 18+19: Doing the Same Thing Over and Over and Expecting Different Results

Still walking with pain — more than before even, and still have a very very slight limp — less than before. Mostly. Ugh.

Talked to a climber-personal trainer friend (via text since we are on opposite sides of the globe) to ask why my pain/limp hasn’t gone away yet. He thought that four months was maybe a bit aggressive to be totally back to normal, but also was like, “unfortunately, sporadic pain is probably to be expected at this point.”

However, I’m not really having “sporadic” pain — more like all the time. 😦

I told him that I was doing my exercises almost every day, to which he replied, “are you doing the same exercises over and over?” Me: “yes, though I’m adding weight.” Him: “you need to switch things up!” He also recommended that I try to do what he called “dynamic” exercises. That is, exercises that operate in all three dimensions. Also, exercises that do strength and balance at the same time.

So I’m trying to do that, though it’s kind of hard to make up a lot of things. I have started doing a lot more lunches — holding a 10kg plate in front of me and twisting to the side as I do down on into the lunch. I do the same, though with a 5kg weight, on a bosu ball which is HARD. I’m also making up sequences involving lunges that involve moving weight across my body as I stand on one leg. And finally, I’ve returned to assisted pistol squats on my bad leg. (And non-assisted on the good side.)

In any case, I can feel that I’m getting WAY stronger from this, particularly in my quads, hamstrings, and glutes.

But the pain remains, and I think that one issue was that I thought that trying some jumping would help with strength, and all that it really did was damage muscles. Kind of mad at myself about this, but what can I do. I hate thought that as of late, I’ve been leaving the gym with more pain than I had going in.

I’m going away for four days, and will be able to do only minimal exercises while away. But will be walking a ton. I’m hoping that this actually helps with the pain — by not doing such strenuous exercises.

As for my days without any pain two weeks ago, in all seriousness, the lack of pain was directly proportional to my fever, which is just bizarre. But as my fever started to go down, the pain started to come back. I have no other explanation. Just weird.

Okay, that is it for this week. Lesson learned: no jumping — and if I start to feel better, don’t do things that are going to put too much more stress on the thing. Painful to feel like I’m hindering my own progress.

Week 16: Pain = No Gain

I’m sure you noticed (that’s a joke), but this post is a little late this week. Sure, I could blame a long weekend trip, but the reality is that I don’t want to talk about my slipping back into pain while walking. It is pretty disappointing, and frustrating, especially because I can’t really be sure why it happened. Though I suspect the elliptical. Seriously, I am just not going to get on that thing for a while. If ever. (Might go straight from spinning to very easy jogging.)

All I know is that it hurts to walk, and there are some exercises that I used to be able to do that I can’t anymore. Namely, bosu ball weighted lunges — with my bad foot in the back — and very assisted pistol squats on my bad leg. It’s something about coming forward over my ankle that is the problem. I nearly cried at the gym on Friday just out of frustration and disappointment.

Also, there now is some pain (very little, but perceptible) on the outside of my foot. As a means to try to get better, I’ve stopped standing up on the spin bike, I’ve stopped doing the leg press because I was doing that so heavy but also not making progress, and I’m not doing the exercises that are too painful to do.

20160301_161112_-543104490The good news — I guess — is that on my weekend trip, I was able to walk around a somewhat treacherous city for walking for hours at a time, and it didn’t feel too bad. I walked up 272 rather steep steps (as pictured), which I am going to admit, was not the most fun. 1/3 because of pain, 1/3 because I was scared coming down that I was going to topple over because the stairs were so steep, and 1/3 because of the number of monkeys playing around on the stairs.

Other good news is that walking on my tiptoes is super easy and painless. More painless than normal walking. Also, the thing doesn’t feel so bad in the afternoon/late day, and I guess it’s not that bad getting up either. I’ve also stopped sleeping with my leg elevated because I just can’t anymore. Yes, I’ve been sleeping with my leg on two to three pillows for sixteen weeks.

Oh, and my callus is huge. And interestingly, this divet that I had next to my fracture site — when I ran my hand across it there was a pretty perceptible indentation — has filled in. Except for at that spot, the bruising is pretty much gone, and my incisions are becoming real scars. I have so many scars on my legs that I will wear them like a badge of honor. And exciting, I set off the airport metal detector! (But only on arrival, not on departure.)

Okay, hoping for a better week 17. Four month breakiversary is coming up. God, can this thing just be over with?

Week 11: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger…I Think

So, in some ways, this week felt like week 9 when I didn’t really achieve much. I can’t say that there were any milestones reached. On the other hand, what makes me feel like I am actually making progress is that my PT exercises are definitely getting easier, and I am moving onto more challenging things. And again, I think that my limp is getting better.

This week was characterized by a ton of walking. I think that on Saturday, I walked probably three miles in total, 2.1 of which was in one stretch without sitting. I think that could have been too much, and after I backed off the walking on Sunday, my leg definitely felt better on Monday. I also did the elliptical again, and while it didn’t hurt while I was on it, I think that I could feel it the next day. My PT told me that I shouldn’t do it until I had no pain, and I do still have pain while walking, so maybe I will listen to his advice. (Did it because there was a class in the spin studio.)

But I’ve doubled the weight that I began with on the leg press machine (using only by bad leg). Now I only have an 80 lb differential between my two legs, ha. I also have moved onto more advanced balance exercises which I simply could not do two weeks ago. Did I mention that I really hate balance exercises? Strength = bring it on, balance is something I really have to push myself to do. Because it’s hard!!!

IMG_20160126_103336_HDRSomething both terrifying and exciting: on my way to my new office, there is a shortcut that saves a lot of time but that has a drainage canal that you have to step over that is rather treacherous with my leg. The first day I looked at it and was like, “no way,” and walked an extra five minutes to go around it. But then on Monday I decided to try it — and I did it. Going back across it at the end of the day was worse, because there is a fairly steep hill, and it was hard to hold myself back from going down it quickly. But, I’m doing it. Today was even easier, naturally.

IMG_20160123_163724_HDR_1453544097348_1453786861905In other news, I went to a regional bouldering competition here — to watch! Watching it made me feel like that is soooo far away for me. Not only landing, but leg strength too. It made me wonder if it will take until May, when I can return to my regular climbing gym. But then I realize that that is nearly four months away (May 15) — that’s way more time than the thing has even been broken. Surely I will get to return at least with my shoes broken in, no?

Oh, and I’ve been dreaming about running. Or rather, I’ve had a number of dreams in which I’ve been able to run. Hopefully starting to get back to that — very slowly — soon.

 

Week 9: The Two Month Blahs

For a long time, this felt like a week when nothing was changing. I didn’t feel like I was getting stronger, I didn’t feel like the pain was diminishing, and on top of that, I tripped three times and used my bad leg to catch my fall which…hurt. Not sure why I tripped so much this week.

Notable things:

  • I walked 1.5 miles for the first time on Friday evening, and it was a slog, for sure. Took about 30 minutes.
  • I have been going to the gym like a mad woman. Rode the spin by 4x in a row, followed by a day off, and then back on. Doing lots and lots of PT exercises as well.
  • Did 20 squats holding a 20kg (44 lbs) kettle ball. Seems like this means I could move onto the bar soon? Going way below parallel.
  • Walking almost normal pace when I hustle.
  • Happened to find myself goofing around on a bouldering wall (don’t ask), campused up to a hold that put my feet about 4″ above the pad. Forgot that I couldn’t fall, and fell down onto the pad. It’s not like I couldn’t feel it, but I was totally fine, surprisingly.
  • Part of my PT is one leg presses on the leg press machine. The differential between my two legs in terms of how much I can press is, uh, 100 lbs. Yikes!

Not sure what other notable things there were, but then, on Monday afternoon, suddenly I started walking with a lot less pain. I walked 1.5 miles again and felt fine. This morning I was back to ache-y, but then this afternoon it got better again. So that felt like some progress.

Also, this Sunday was my two month breakiversary. This made me 1. kind of check my expectations about recovery and 2. go back to my entry from my one month breakiversary and compare where I was.

First, I realized that initially I thought I was going to be in a cast for 6-8 weeks (initially, i.e. when I was laying on the mat with a floppy foot waiting for the paramedics to come). Sometimes I get frustrated that I’m not further along in recovery — particularly these days because the early recovery went so quickly and everyone was saying, “I can’t believe it’s been three weeks and you are off crutches,” etc. So the fact that going down stairs is still kind of hard, that balancing on my bad leg to put my pants/socks on in the morning is still hard, and the fact that I have very little lateral stability all make me feel like things aren’t progressing fast enough anymore. Like, as though I should be starting to run by now. Even though it’s been two months since my break.

But second, I did look back at my week 5 post, and realized how different things were that week from now. I remember how ridiculously slow that one mile walk to the grocery store was. Though it does still feel like progress is slowing down.

So: this week was kind of blah I guess. We shall see what next week brings, aside from flying half-way around the world.